Well, I got a job!

Haha, it was honestly the most painless thing ever, due to the apparent “labour shortage” employers are desperate and will hire even those who are students and don’t have much work experience such as myself.  The guy interviewing me didn’t even care about references, even when I offered him the contact information of my academic advisor. 

The job is inventory management or whatever you care to call it.  I will be scanning retail store’s stuff.  It’s a different location every time, which is something new, can’t decide whether that’ll be good or not so good.  But whatever, it’s a job, and it pays REALLY well! 

I’m working at 6 this evening at a store in a mall, and then I have 2 shifts during the weekdays that start at 7 AM. Eep.  I said no more than 20 hours a week though so I’ll still have plenty of off time.  I really have to finish that math study guide I mentioned, I have been writing a few review pages a day but there’s so much to cover I need to pick up the pace.  I also have to do an art assignment, which is creating a website and write an essay for English (I wanted to get started on next year’s English early.)  On top of school stuff, I have to study the driver’s manual in order to pass a test to get my learner’s license.  A little overwhelming all of it, haha but I’ll get it all done somehow..

Yup, all work and no fun for me.  I don’t know, I just don’t have any interest in, how do you kids say, “partying”? Hahaha.  It’s just not me.  And I’m not exactly invited to anything (not that you really have to be )

New layout tomorrow, as promised!

I was laying awake in bed thinking a couple nights ago (couldn’t sleep, heh) and for some reason I started wondering why some parents try to mold their children so much they don’t have a chance to just be themselves.  When I was in Grade 4, my dad though it would be a swell idea to have me start piano lessons.  Being only 9, I didn’t have much say in the matter.  He’s really into music but his career was computer programming and dare I say living vicariously through me? (I really hope my dad doesn’t somehow accidentally find this site, because of course he knows my first and middle name.)  Piano was really more his interest than mine.

Needless to say I absolutely hated it, and would actually cry all the way home from every lesson in the car.  I don’t have a real “explanation” for that, the teacher was not particularly mean or cruel or doing anything other than she was supposed to do - teach piano.  But I felt so, so out of place and so frustrated I despised it.  I also think I was putting a lot of undue pressure on myself for whatever reason, so when I failed to succeed at something immediately I was angry at myself.  Who knows the psychology really of a 9 year old. I remember once actually tearing up a little during the lesson, which stirred things up and my teacher was concerned as to why I was upset.  One thing led to the next and I eventually stopped taking piano lessons about half a year after I started.

Which was so relieving!  My parents played the “you’ve-let-me-down” card for a while but it eventually passed like most things do.  Looking back on the experience, piano just isn’t something I was, or am interested in and I think inducing feelings of guilt or scorn just because I didn’t want to do what was I was “supposed” to do, is just plain wrong.  I really do believe that parents shouldn’t force their children into something they’re just not interested in, or be annoyed or mad at them for that.  Kids find their niche eventually, whether it’s something the parents want or not.  And you really should be able to love what you love and not like what you don’t like.
And that’s the story and my 2 cents. 

I feel so distracted, overwhelmed and unfocused.  I swear, there are not enough hours in the day.  I have so much I have to do, and so much I want to do and I can’t seem to find time to get to it all, let alone accomplish one thing.  I’m horrible with the Internet in that, I pinball from one project to the next, not accomplishing a thing but going off on a new tangent every 10 minutes.  I should really try to focus more :C but there’s just so many crazy ideas I have, lol.

I also need to really sit down and write out a full study guide for my math.  I just turned in the last assignment before the huge test and have a lot to cover..  I wrote out 4 double sided sheets worth yesterday and only scratched the surface!

One good thing is the weather has been nice recently.  Yesterday it was HOT and very sunny so I hung out outside for a while working on the math.  My face actually got burnt a bit but god forbid I actually get a tan or anything, haha.  I only just burn it seems.  I got a slurpee today and it tasted metallic.  Pretty disgusting really.. ruined slurpees for me.

Ah, randomness.. oh yeah, forgot to mention, a summer job may be in the works for me.  I did apply for something, not expecting a reply but I did get an email requesting my phone number because they would be “interested in speaking with me” so we’ll see.. I guess that’s promising?  I’m such a dork for leaving out my phone number in the first place, I really hate talking on the phone but I’m an email and text fiend.  Oh well, I guess I can’t communicatez via internetz for my whole life, hahaha.

It’ll all unfold I guess.  I’m going to eat Dinner shortly and then make myself get down to math.

Well the site is back after spending a few days on maitenance mode, lol.  The reason for that was that I was writing my own theme(!) so I needed to always preview it and work out the many, many bugs.  Yeah, can you believe it! I made my own theme! I won’t put it up until June for the sake of continuity and also to give me a bit longer to tweak (There’s always something that can be improved!)

I’m not gonna lie that I’m pretty proud of my self, haha.  I can’t take credit for any of the PHP of course, I know none so that was all done by reference but  I did totally write all of the CSS and what little HTML was involved, and they’re both valid!  Shocking for me. And the graphics and design are completely my own.

So I’ve basically been a slave to that, I had a horrible time with getting the footer to stay down so there was quite the fight with that, now that I’m basically done it I have to go concentrate on school and fun stuff like that.

I’m glad I have this blog because hopefully I can learn a lot from it with attempting to code it.  Practice makes perfect!

All right, that’s about it for now, stay tuned for the new theme in June!

I write this with my binder full of math in my lap.  Yes, I’m just taking a teensy break from my math, honest.  I’m nearing the end of the first unit, which means the first huge test on everything covered so far.  But so far I seem to be getting most stuff when I check the answer key afterwards, so that’s promising.  But I will definitely be studying anyway

Lately I’ve been feeling inspired,  Haha, haven’t felt that way for a loong time.  It’s an overwhelming but great feeling.  I just mean feeling inspired with everything, feeling hopeful about the future.  It not too far off I will be going away to college, which is crazy when I think about it!  It seems just yesterday (really) that I was very , very young..  Funny how that works, isn’t it?  It’s also great because I’m starting to just know what I want to do.  I didn’t know it would come to me just as so, but it seems to be.  What is it you wonder.. I’ll write a post detailing that in the near future.

I think I’ve always been the opposite of a “live life in the moment” person.  I don’t know if that’s “bad” or just another viewpoint, but I love to look to the future and plan, or dream about it.  So maybe I’m missing out on enjoying the moment, but I’m excited for the future.  Which is really uplifting. I’m really determined to take ownership of my future.  Sometimes it really is frustrating and you feel like you have no control in your life, I’d say one of the worst feelings ever is feeling helpless.  I’ve felt that way a lot over the years growing up, sometimes justified, other times not.  I do believe that you do decide your life, no matter what circumstances may hinder that.   It’s just so easy to fall in a rut and become bitter.  I’m talking on a very general level.  I’m trying not to do that anymore.

Yeah, I’m rambling.  But what’s so wrong with that?! So, before I get distracted with some other project, Back to the math!